December 12

From the gnostic gospel of Saint Nicholas
     Whenever two (or more if they liveth in Utah) shall come together in the estate of holy matrimony or blessed civil union, or unblessed if this be their preference, each shall bring the customs of their family of origin and nation to the decking of the Yule tree. In all things regarding the evergreen, husband shall bow to the customs of his wife, unless that custom be the wanton throwing of clumps of tinsel, which in all nations is known as an abomination.
     Women, even though your beloved boweth down to you, like the cherry tree to Mary, you in turn must be respectful of his feelings about the tree, even though he displayeth none in any other matter. Those ornaments which he loves must be displayed, even though they are foolish in your eyes. Surely your mother has told you this, but if she was negligent in the matter of your instruction, I will tell you now, there are many men who would tie a piece of string to a motorcycle part or a tractor bolt, and call it an ornament. If you are wise, you will not argue the fine points of ritual ornamentation with a man who wishes to hang a bicycle derailleur on the tree.
     When a spouse comes to the marriage with great riches of ornaments and tchotchkas, these items must not be discarded, but may be moved to the back of the tree the moment he leaveth the room to tend to the fields or garage. Likewise this wisdom applieth to the children which are the fruit of your union, and to those who cometh in a package deal with your husband. For surely there will come a time when they are instructed in the way of glitter and the glue of Elmer. Should the occasion arise where an ornament which was placed by a man or a child, must be moved, it is better to follow the wisdom of the ancients and create a legend to explain the movement or disappearance. "Like the magi, the popsicle stick mouse followed the star..." The men will fall for this, but the wise child will not be deceived.
     Remember always, the same men who would tie a tractor bolt to the tree and call it an ornament, might also laugh in secret at your piece of macaroni glued to a piece of construction paper but they have learned to conceal their mirth. 
     Remember also that the front of the tree may show those things which the woman of the house finds beautiful, but the back of the tree shows what is beloved by the family. It is there that you will find the true history of the family and what is in their hearts.